Three years later, after slander in the tabloids, unbearable loneliness and intensive therapy, Brad's back. And this time he claims he's serious about finding true love -- he only reminds us 50 times per episode. The one thing we have to wonder is, will the new contestants, most of whom are aware of Brad's commitment-phobic track record on 'The Bachelor,' be able to trust him enough to want to be there at the end?
Surprisingly enough, it seems like they already do.
Aside from one well-placed slap in the premiere, the 14 remaining women are only in week three and already seem to have completely forgotten about the DeAnna and Jenni debacle, sprouting signs of the desperation for intimacy that makes 'The Bachelor' what it is. Cat fights? Check. Jealousy? Check. Creepily following Brad around no matter who he's talking to or what he's doing? Check. But why? Why would these women crumble into tears, both after being eliminated and in general, over the one guy famous for not committing?
There are plenty of factors in the ladies' disregard for Brad's checkered dating past, but we're willing to bet most of it stems from a truckload of man-centric trust issues resonating through the cast. Six of the remaining women have terribly sad backstories regarding the men in their lives. We're talking disappearing dads, infidelity, divorce, untimely death, addicts, illegitimate children, homelessness, the list goes on. Not to mention that Brad discovered, through a three-year long therapy session, that his commitment issues are derived from his own absentee father.
That is a lot of common baggage for one group of people. And longing to fill the emotional gaps left by neglect and trauma, coupled with the fact that Brad is pretty damn hot and the only guy to interact with for miles, breeds some crazy behavior.
Take Michelle Money, for instance. She's the eldest of the bachelorettes, having just turned 30, and is extremely vocal about her hatred of having to share Brad with more than a dozen other women. She often fantasizes -- to the camera, no less -- about taking them out one by one. Meet Michelle:
Charming, really. To Michelle, this not a competition, it's survival. Though CelebTV unearthed footage of her movie-making past, we can't imagine being this nuts 24/7 is all an act. The single mom balances stalking Brad like a hawk with taking advantage of his insecurities by making him feel guilty for wooing the other contestants -- although it's the exact aim of the show. In only three weeks, Michelle has manged to completely alienate herself in the house, make an enemy of Chantal (the justice slapper), pout and make a scene like a spoiled teenager on her 30th birthday, managing to paint herself as a delusional, desperate and manipulative aspiring cat lady.
Now, most of the women don't run to this extreme. Some seem like they'd be perfectly normal in real life. But the pressure of 'The Bachelor' has become a catalyst to their emotions, rendering them completely vulnerable to this one man. No matter how tough the ladies seemed on day one, they're are all pretty much in love with Brad by now. Remember Chantal? Our femme-power "This is for all the women in America!" justice slapper? Even she was reduced to tears during a particularly deep conversation with Brad about not being able to reconnect with her estranged father before he passed away. And then they made out. Come to think of it, most of the first kisses came about after a big emotional reveal. Thank goodness for daddy issues, or Brad might not get any action.
The funny thing is, the one girl who on the surface seemed nuts, Madison Garton (who wore prosthetic fangs and bragged about meeting the leader of the underground vampire world -- which is a thing, apparently), was by far the most rational when it came to her potential relationship with Brad. After hearing Emily Maynard's tragic love story, she realized there were women who had much more at stake than she did. So she decided to go home, in hopes that her absence would make the road to 'The Bachelor' that much easier for the ones who think they need love, not just want it.
So it's not all about Mr. Womack after all. Sure his rugged good looks, chiseled body, deep pockets and Texan charm don't hurt, but at the end of the day, 'The Bachelor' could be any decent guy, and these women would be falling all over him just the same. They're not looking for love with Brad Womack, they're looking for love, period. It just so happens they ended up on Brad's (second) season.
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