If you hear the chokey echoes of a tortured mass sob reverberating around the world this Sunday, don't worry -- it's just the sound of tweens everywhere mourning the loss of small-screen icon 'Hannah Montana.'
After four years on TV, two movies, eight albums and an incalculable amount of glittery pink merchandise, the Disney Channel hit is ending its run.
Like many of her Disney contemporaries, the show's star, Miley Cyrus, has arguably become more famous in recent years for her behavior off-screen than for her on-camera parts, but she, too, was once a bright-eyed, buck-toothed young starlet making family-friendly fare with all of her clothes on.
So how will it end?
The New York Daily News reports that Hannah/Miley's big finale will center on her character's decision to either attend college or pursue a movie career. Only time will tell which choice she will make, but in the meantime, we review the episodes that should have made it to air.
1. "Look-Alike"
After many years spent skirting the issue, neighbors and acquaintances come clean about knowing that Miley and Hannah are the same person. "You put on a blonde wig and you expect us to forget what the rest of you looks like?" asks neighbor Mrs. Alvarez. "That stuff may have worked for Superman, but we're not idiots, Miley."
2. "Miley Gets a Cell Phone"
"Come on, let's just take a few photos, it'll be fun!" says her ex, Jake Ryan. "It's not like anybody's going to see them."
3. "Robby Ray Admits to Loving Miley More Than Jackson"
While Miley and her brother have previously debated the issue in the jocular way that siblings often do, dad Robby Ray admits Miley is the favorite when Jackson leaves the house a mess after a party. "I'm sorry, that's just the way it is," Robby tells Jackson. "She's been paying our bills since she was 14 and you're a 33-year-old who still lives at home. What did you expect?"
4. "Miley Seeks Treatment For Disturbing Dreams About Her Dead Mother"
Healthy grief takes many forms, but believing that you're talking to your long-deceased mother while caught in a time warp isn't one of them.
5. "Miley's Friends Procure Hallucinogens"
After trying some of an unknown substance obtained by her friends, Miley awakes to find her reality permanently altered. "Where's all my Hannah stuff? Where are my gold records?" she asks her father, quizzically. "Who's Hannah?" he replies.
