It's stripper 911 down in Arlington, TX -- XXX clubs surrounding Cowboys Stadium are expecting so many patrons on Super Bowl weekend ... they're on the hunt for an additional 10,000 girls.
John Walsh -- the guy who runs Showtime Cabaret -- tells TMZ, his fine establishment employs 50 lovely ladies ... but he's in the market for another 100-120 lap dancers to get down for the big weekend -- STAT!
Walsh says all told ... the 60 clubs in Dallas' 30 Mile Zone need an additional 10,000 strippers.
Arlington city officials expect to host 300,000 visitors that weekend -- which puts the tourist to stripper ratio at around 30:1 ... not too shabby.
Showing posts with label We. Show all posts
Showing posts with label We. Show all posts
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Dating Wisdom We've Learned From Reality TV
Since the early 1990s, when MTV rolled out the first season of its ever-enduring homage to voyeruism, 'The Real World,' reality television and its stars have become an inescapabale part of our cultural lexicon. From the waist-whittling starvation on 'Survivor' to the brutal effects of 'Bridalplasty,' we've come to see our own lives and the disturbing-yet-somehow-enviable lives of drunk, naked and carefree reality stars, through a new, maybe softer, lens.
Arguably, the most successful reality market is the dating segment, which has launched a number of successful, if short-lived, reality TV careers, as well as the platform on which many celebrities have reclaimed their success. Despite the pain, humiliation and abundant vomiting (we're looking at you, Bret Michaels) that so often comes along with finding love on TV, the struggles of these people, who are often so unlike any person you would have occasion to meet anywhere in our solar system, still strike a chord somewhere in the toughened, black knot we once called our heart. Inside, we reveal the greatest romantic insights we've learned from reality TV.
If you're reasonably attractive, there's no need to pretend you're not shallow.
For those of us who don't regularly visit the Playboy website, our first introduction to blond beauty Megan Hauserman was on 'Beauty and the Geek,' where the former Cyber Girl competed for -- and won -- $125,000 alongside adorably awkward teammate Scooter Zackheim. The aspiring something-or-other went on to use her good looks to woo Bret Michaels on the second season of 'Rock of Love,' but it wasn't until Hauserman was given her own show that her celebrity was confirmed. Hauserman and VH1 execs seemed to have their work cut out for them and didn't beat around the bush when it came to titling the show. 'Megan Wants a Husband?' Nah, too boring. 'Megan Wants a Guy With a 401(k) and a Jetta?' DREAM BIGGER. And thus, 'Megan Wants a Millionaire' was born.
Vomiting and making out go together like a weave and a bandana.
We like Bret Michaels. He's funny, a good musician and, from all appearances, a nice guy. So why did he spend three seasons mingling with some of the creepiest, most-backstabbing, least hygenic women this world has ever seen? Among our favorites of these lovely ladies was Marcia, the Brazilian firecracker whose love for Michaels was only matched by her love for tequila straight from the bottle. The combination of bumpy bus driving and cheap booze proved too much for Marcia on one occasion, causing some on-camera cookie-tossing, but Marcia was undeterred. Embodying Vince Lombardi's classic motto, "It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get up," the bubbly brunette moved quickly from losing her lunch to a lip-lock with Michaels -- all before she could brush her teeth.
It's OK to eliminate both of the final contestants from a dating show because, like magic, 30 more girls will line up to find out if you'll do the same to them.
Brad Womack may be handsome and charming, but math doesn't seem to be his strong suit. After eliminating both Jenni Croft and DeAnna Pappas in the final episode of his 'Bachelor' season, Womack found himself -- shocker! -- alone. But fear not for the good-natured entrepreneur, who, despite his bold (read: well-informed) choice, was given another chance at love on the 15th season of the show. With any luck, he's learned by now that 2-2 = 0.
Like twin birth, twin dating must happen at the same time.
Perhaps we should have been clued in to the inherent grossness of 'A Double Shot at Love' by the bachelorettes' self-imposed moniker the "Ikki Twins," but after Tila Tequila broke our hearts by eliminating Dani on the first 'Shot at Love,' we held out hope that something could be salvaged from those kiddie pools full of Jell-O and broken dreams. Unfortunately, it turns out that bisexual intrafamilial double-dating just isn't the fairy tale everyone makes it out to be.
People who weigh more than 110 pounds are worthy of love, but only if they provide constant reminders of their exact size.
America's obsession with weight has exploded into the reality TV market in recent years, with shows like 'Heavy' and 'I Used to Be Fat' joining the bevy of weight-loss series on TV. However, one reality show embraced the fullness of their contestants' figures, even going as far as to suggest that they were not only acceptable, but attractive, at their current weights. While we were never convinced that 'More to Love' would tip the scales in favor of a healthier body image for those who watched, we held out some hope that the show would, at the very least, err on the side of caution in its portrayal of the contestants. No such luck! Every testimonial shot of the contestants showed viewers not only contestants' names but their weights, in an effort to remind audiences just how unlike normal people the overweight are, even in a country where more than one-third of the population is obese. The kicker? Bachelor Luke ended up picking the girl with the lowest weight, who also just so happened to be a model.
Successful first dates for straight girls often begin with a married man and a gay guy.
Let's start by saying that 'Gay, Straight, or Taken' is somewhat of a misnomer for what's going on here. On this short-lived Lifetime reality show, a female contestant would go on a first date with three guys. If that doesn't set off your creep radar yet, this will: The girl's job was then to determine which of the men was straight and single, which one was straight and taken and which one was gay. Although it was never addressed, the gay contestant on the show was always in a relationship as well, but 'Gay and Taken, Straight and Taken, or Single and Looking' just doesn't have the same ring to it. After usually saying a bunch of silly and offensive things while making their determination ("Well, he does have nice eyebrows and like Rock Hudson movies..."), if the female contestant correctly identified the single, straight guy, the two got to do what most virtual strangers do on a second date: take a weeklong vacation together.
So, good luck in your romantic pursuits and remember, if there's a camera crew filming you, all bets are off. Put on your cowboy hat, take out your false teeth and let your freak flag fly. In the end, perhaps the most important take-away from reality TV is that no matter how difficult your personality, no matter how horrifying you, your significant other or the world at large considers your looks, or how upfront you are about being a total gold digger, there is not only hope, but abundant, drunken groping waiting for you in a lavish mansion somewhere.
Arguably, the most successful reality market is the dating segment, which has launched a number of successful, if short-lived, reality TV careers, as well as the platform on which many celebrities have reclaimed their success. Despite the pain, humiliation and abundant vomiting (we're looking at you, Bret Michaels) that so often comes along with finding love on TV, the struggles of these people, who are often so unlike any person you would have occasion to meet anywhere in our solar system, still strike a chord somewhere in the toughened, black knot we once called our heart. Inside, we reveal the greatest romantic insights we've learned from reality TV.
If you're reasonably attractive, there's no need to pretend you're not shallow.
For those of us who don't regularly visit the Playboy website, our first introduction to blond beauty Megan Hauserman was on 'Beauty and the Geek,' where the former Cyber Girl competed for -- and won -- $125,000 alongside adorably awkward teammate Scooter Zackheim. The aspiring something-or-other went on to use her good looks to woo Bret Michaels on the second season of 'Rock of Love,' but it wasn't until Hauserman was given her own show that her celebrity was confirmed. Hauserman and VH1 execs seemed to have their work cut out for them and didn't beat around the bush when it came to titling the show. 'Megan Wants a Husband?' Nah, too boring. 'Megan Wants a Guy With a 401(k) and a Jetta?' DREAM BIGGER. And thus, 'Megan Wants a Millionaire' was born.
Vomiting and making out go together like a weave and a bandana.
We like Bret Michaels. He's funny, a good musician and, from all appearances, a nice guy. So why did he spend three seasons mingling with some of the creepiest, most-backstabbing, least hygenic women this world has ever seen? Among our favorites of these lovely ladies was Marcia, the Brazilian firecracker whose love for Michaels was only matched by her love for tequila straight from the bottle. The combination of bumpy bus driving and cheap booze proved too much for Marcia on one occasion, causing some on-camera cookie-tossing, but Marcia was undeterred. Embodying Vince Lombardi's classic motto, "It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get up," the bubbly brunette moved quickly from losing her lunch to a lip-lock with Michaels -- all before she could brush her teeth.
It's OK to eliminate both of the final contestants from a dating show because, like magic, 30 more girls will line up to find out if you'll do the same to them.
Brad Womack may be handsome and charming, but math doesn't seem to be his strong suit. After eliminating both Jenni Croft and DeAnna Pappas in the final episode of his 'Bachelor' season, Womack found himself -- shocker! -- alone. But fear not for the good-natured entrepreneur, who, despite his bold (read: well-informed) choice, was given another chance at love on the 15th season of the show. With any luck, he's learned by now that 2-2 = 0.
Like twin birth, twin dating must happen at the same time.
Perhaps we should have been clued in to the inherent grossness of 'A Double Shot at Love' by the bachelorettes' self-imposed moniker the "Ikki Twins," but after Tila Tequila broke our hearts by eliminating Dani on the first 'Shot at Love,' we held out hope that something could be salvaged from those kiddie pools full of Jell-O and broken dreams. Unfortunately, it turns out that bisexual intrafamilial double-dating just isn't the fairy tale everyone makes it out to be.
People who weigh more than 110 pounds are worthy of love, but only if they provide constant reminders of their exact size.
America's obsession with weight has exploded into the reality TV market in recent years, with shows like 'Heavy' and 'I Used to Be Fat' joining the bevy of weight-loss series on TV. However, one reality show embraced the fullness of their contestants' figures, even going as far as to suggest that they were not only acceptable, but attractive, at their current weights. While we were never convinced that 'More to Love' would tip the scales in favor of a healthier body image for those who watched, we held out some hope that the show would, at the very least, err on the side of caution in its portrayal of the contestants. No such luck! Every testimonial shot of the contestants showed viewers not only contestants' names but their weights, in an effort to remind audiences just how unlike normal people the overweight are, even in a country where more than one-third of the population is obese. The kicker? Bachelor Luke ended up picking the girl with the lowest weight, who also just so happened to be a model.
Successful first dates for straight girls often begin with a married man and a gay guy.
Let's start by saying that 'Gay, Straight, or Taken' is somewhat of a misnomer for what's going on here. On this short-lived Lifetime reality show, a female contestant would go on a first date with three guys. If that doesn't set off your creep radar yet, this will: The girl's job was then to determine which of the men was straight and single, which one was straight and taken and which one was gay. Although it was never addressed, the gay contestant on the show was always in a relationship as well, but 'Gay and Taken, Straight and Taken, or Single and Looking' just doesn't have the same ring to it. After usually saying a bunch of silly and offensive things while making their determination ("Well, he does have nice eyebrows and like Rock Hudson movies..."), if the female contestant correctly identified the single, straight guy, the two got to do what most virtual strangers do on a second date: take a weeklong vacation together.
So, good luck in your romantic pursuits and remember, if there's a camera crew filming you, all bets are off. Put on your cowboy hat, take out your false teeth and let your freak flag fly. In the end, perhaps the most important take-away from reality TV is that no matter how difficult your personality, no matter how horrifying you, your significant other or the world at large considers your looks, or how upfront you are about being a total gold digger, there is not only hope, but abundant, drunken groping waiting for you in a lavish mansion somewhere.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
We Have Seen "The Future," And It Is Good
Sundance alum Miranda July made a long overdue return to the silver screen, as her new film, "The Future," was shown as part of the Sundance Premieres program.
Sundance director John Cooper was on hand at the cavernous Eccles Theater to introduce "The Future," saying he couldn't think of a more perfect film" to open the Premieres section, calling July "one of the great poets of our time."
July came out to a thunderous applause, one that made her appear even more uncomfortable than she normally does. At issue were the constant reminders over the past three months that her film would debut in front of 1,200 people.
"I've been carrying you around--all of you--since November."
"The Future" is a modern fairy tale set in Los Angeles, focusing on a couple, played by July and Hamish Linklater, who are forced to confront their own mortality and the direction of their lives when they agree to adopt a sick cat they've rescued. Suddenly, they realize the clock is ticking, and vow to quit their jobs and focus on things that are important to them.Needless to say, things go terribly wrong.
Like her previous film, "Me and You and Everyone We Know," her latest effort is moody, off-kilter, hilarious, sweet and thoughtful. It's also a bit too absurd at times, and not all of her choices pay off, but at least she's trying, and her success rate is higher than a lot of filmmakers who play it safe.
Sundance director John Cooper was on hand at the cavernous Eccles Theater to introduce "The Future," saying he couldn't think of a more perfect film" to open the Premieres section, calling July "one of the great poets of our time."
July came out to a thunderous applause, one that made her appear even more uncomfortable than she normally does. At issue were the constant reminders over the past three months that her film would debut in front of 1,200 people.
"I've been carrying you around--all of you--since November."
"The Future" is a modern fairy tale set in Los Angeles, focusing on a couple, played by July and Hamish Linklater, who are forced to confront their own mortality and the direction of their lives when they agree to adopt a sick cat they've rescued. Suddenly, they realize the clock is ticking, and vow to quit their jobs and focus on things that are important to them.Needless to say, things go terribly wrong.
Like her previous film, "Me and You and Everyone We Know," her latest effort is moody, off-kilter, hilarious, sweet and thoughtful. It's also a bit too absurd at times, and not all of her choices pay off, but at least she's trying, and her success rate is higher than a lot of filmmakers who play it safe.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Donald Driver: Why We Should All Be Green Bay Packer Fans This February
If I was given the ability to select one man in the history of any sport and put him into that sport's Hall of Fame, I wouldn't choose Pete Rose, Dennis Rodman or Don Mattingly—heck, not even Jerry Kramer.
I would pick Donald Driver. No man in the history of sports stands for what an athlete should be more than him.
The story of this man is a fascinating one. It's also one that few people know.
Driver grew up in the slums. The kid was dirt poor. He lived out of the trunk of his car.
When he was in seventh grade, his older brother noticed Driver's incredible speed, agility and hands—so he put it to use.
Things were so bad for the Drivers that Donald, dubbed "Quickie" by his brothers, was using his God-given talents to steal cars.
Those cars he would sell for drugs, drugs he claims he never used, but rather resold for more money.
Hey, when things are bad, they're bad. Driver says he probably stole 20 or 30 cars, and he was only caught once.
But that once changed everything.
Just as he was starting the car, he heard sirens, so he did what anybody would do—stepped on the gas and got away as fast as possible.
However, just as he was making his escape, he hit an old woman's car as she was backing out of her driveway. He hopped out of the car and sprinted away, and he was in the clear.
He had the cops beat by a few blocks, but something made him turn back.
It was the old lady. He went back to make sure she was okay.
That's right. Driver, who was in the midst of literally running for his life, the same kid who had just been caught stealing a car, turned back to check on the well-being of a woman that he had no affiliation with whatsoever, a woman he had never met in his life.
She was fine, but by the time he got back the police were rounding the corner, so she said to him, "Go sit on my porch."
For some reason he trusted her, and he took a seat on her porch.
By the time the cops got there she told them the lowlife had run off. "So who's that sitting on your porch?" one cop said to her.
The five words that followed would go on to change Driver's life as he knew it: "Oh, that's just my grandson."
Donald was mesmerized. He couldn't believe what had just happened—until the woman walked over to him and said, "Get in this house!" Inside, she went off on him. "Why do you do this?!" she said.
Now, this is no movie. He still stole another car or two because things were that bad. But one year later his mom sent him to live with his grandmother.
He joined the drill team at his grandmother's church and played organized football for the first time at Milby High School, where he found out Olympic speed and great hands can do more than just steal cars.
It then occurred to him what the lady was trying to tell him that day: "You could be doing so much more!"
And he did. Driver starred in track and football at Alcorn State, where he also got his accounting degree.
Isn't it funny how one good deed can mean so much?
After he finished college, Driver had a choice to make: He could either compete in the 2000 Sydney Olympics or join the Green Bay Packers, who had used the 213th overall pick to draft him in 1999.
With his family still in poverty, Driver needed an NFL paycheck desperately, so he chose the Packers.
Good choice.
For two years Driver played every practice as if he would have been arrested for taking a play off, and in 2002, when the Packers were about as desperate for a wide receiver as Driver himself was for money as a kid, guess who came out of nowhere to become a Pro Bowl receiver?
Driver didn't disappear after that 2002 season either. The guy has become a Packers legend, the second greatest receiver in team history.
However, talking to Driver, you wouldn't know it. He's never been a "look at me"-type guy, which is why he's flown so wildly under the radar in the same era as guys like Terrell Owens and Randy Moss.
From 2005 to 2008 he was, aside from Marvin Harrison, perhaps the best and most consistent wide receiver in all of football.
Driver holds Packers franchise records for career receiving yards, receptions, 1,000-yard receiving seasons, consecutive games with a reception and 50-plus-catch seasons.
However, that is not why Donald Driver deserves your utmost respect. He deserves it not because of who he is on the field, but rather who he is off it.
He has his own charity, the Donald Driver Foundation, which offers assistance to ill children with unmanageable hospital bills, provides housing for the homeless and donates to a variety of local charities. He is also said to make more charity appearances than any other player on the team by a wide margin.
"He's a wonderful man," says Cathy Dworak, the team's manager of community relations. "He's always smiling, fun, positive. He calls me up and asks if there are any appearances I need done. Can you imagine?"
Earlier this season, with the Packers playing for their playoff lives against the Detroit Lions, Driver noticed his quarterback Aaron Rodgers didn't look right after taking a brutal hit on a scramble on the last series.
He told him that he should leave the game, that his future as a human being was more important than a stupid game. Keep in mind that's coming from a 36-year-old veteran in perhaps his last chance to win a Super Bowl, risking a shot at the playoffs to do something that I guarantee you 99 percent of other NFL players wouldn't have done.
It turned out Rodgers had his second concussion of the season. Driver very well may have saved his career.
That is why I root for the little engine that could from Alcorn State—because he cares about the people.
He cares about the fans, the kids, his teammates and even people he's never met (remember that old lady).
Which is why I will pray to God that if there is one great game left in Donald Driver's 36-year-old body, we see it on Super Bowl Sunday.
Nobody deserves a ring more.
I would pick Donald Driver. No man in the history of sports stands for what an athlete should be more than him.
The story of this man is a fascinating one. It's also one that few people know.
Driver grew up in the slums. The kid was dirt poor. He lived out of the trunk of his car.
When he was in seventh grade, his older brother noticed Driver's incredible speed, agility and hands—so he put it to use.
Things were so bad for the Drivers that Donald, dubbed "Quickie" by his brothers, was using his God-given talents to steal cars.
Those cars he would sell for drugs, drugs he claims he never used, but rather resold for more money.
Hey, when things are bad, they're bad. Driver says he probably stole 20 or 30 cars, and he was only caught once.
But that once changed everything.
Just as he was starting the car, he heard sirens, so he did what anybody would do—stepped on the gas and got away as fast as possible.
However, just as he was making his escape, he hit an old woman's car as she was backing out of her driveway. He hopped out of the car and sprinted away, and he was in the clear.
He had the cops beat by a few blocks, but something made him turn back.
It was the old lady. He went back to make sure she was okay.
That's right. Driver, who was in the midst of literally running for his life, the same kid who had just been caught stealing a car, turned back to check on the well-being of a woman that he had no affiliation with whatsoever, a woman he had never met in his life.
She was fine, but by the time he got back the police were rounding the corner, so she said to him, "Go sit on my porch."
For some reason he trusted her, and he took a seat on her porch.
By the time the cops got there she told them the lowlife had run off. "So who's that sitting on your porch?" one cop said to her.
The five words that followed would go on to change Driver's life as he knew it: "Oh, that's just my grandson."
Donald was mesmerized. He couldn't believe what had just happened—until the woman walked over to him and said, "Get in this house!" Inside, she went off on him. "Why do you do this?!" she said.
Now, this is no movie. He still stole another car or two because things were that bad. But one year later his mom sent him to live with his grandmother.
He joined the drill team at his grandmother's church and played organized football for the first time at Milby High School, where he found out Olympic speed and great hands can do more than just steal cars.
It then occurred to him what the lady was trying to tell him that day: "You could be doing so much more!"
And he did. Driver starred in track and football at Alcorn State, where he also got his accounting degree.
Isn't it funny how one good deed can mean so much?
After he finished college, Driver had a choice to make: He could either compete in the 2000 Sydney Olympics or join the Green Bay Packers, who had used the 213th overall pick to draft him in 1999.
With his family still in poverty, Driver needed an NFL paycheck desperately, so he chose the Packers.
Good choice.
For two years Driver played every practice as if he would have been arrested for taking a play off, and in 2002, when the Packers were about as desperate for a wide receiver as Driver himself was for money as a kid, guess who came out of nowhere to become a Pro Bowl receiver?
Driver didn't disappear after that 2002 season either. The guy has become a Packers legend, the second greatest receiver in team history.
However, talking to Driver, you wouldn't know it. He's never been a "look at me"-type guy, which is why he's flown so wildly under the radar in the same era as guys like Terrell Owens and Randy Moss.
From 2005 to 2008 he was, aside from Marvin Harrison, perhaps the best and most consistent wide receiver in all of football.
Driver holds Packers franchise records for career receiving yards, receptions, 1,000-yard receiving seasons, consecutive games with a reception and 50-plus-catch seasons.
However, that is not why Donald Driver deserves your utmost respect. He deserves it not because of who he is on the field, but rather who he is off it.
He has his own charity, the Donald Driver Foundation, which offers assistance to ill children with unmanageable hospital bills, provides housing for the homeless and donates to a variety of local charities. He is also said to make more charity appearances than any other player on the team by a wide margin.
"He's a wonderful man," says Cathy Dworak, the team's manager of community relations. "He's always smiling, fun, positive. He calls me up and asks if there are any appearances I need done. Can you imagine?"
Earlier this season, with the Packers playing for their playoff lives against the Detroit Lions, Driver noticed his quarterback Aaron Rodgers didn't look right after taking a brutal hit on a scramble on the last series.
He told him that he should leave the game, that his future as a human being was more important than a stupid game. Keep in mind that's coming from a 36-year-old veteran in perhaps his last chance to win a Super Bowl, risking a shot at the playoffs to do something that I guarantee you 99 percent of other NFL players wouldn't have done.
It turned out Rodgers had his second concussion of the season. Driver very well may have saved his career.
That is why I root for the little engine that could from Alcorn State—because he cares about the people.
He cares about the fans, the kids, his teammates and even people he's never met (remember that old lady).
Which is why I will pray to God that if there is one great game left in Donald Driver's 36-year-old body, we see it on Super Bowl Sunday.
Nobody deserves a ring more.
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